Dead Heading!

 Notice the curling viola flower in the middle of the picture right above my finger.  That is a flower that needs to be "deadheaded."  This is the process of diligently, and daily (preferably) taking a few moments to remove the flower blossoms that have bloomed and are finished.  This prevents the plant from giving wasted nutrients to a past-bloom blossom, enabling the nutrients to go towards new blossoms.  This is the one of the ways to ensure that your flowers bloom for optimal lengths of time.  Yes, fertilizer and soil, and water all play a part.  The interesting thing is that this takes only seconds if you keep after it every day.  And
                                                                                    every time I step outside my front door and stoop

to do this, I am reminded of the parallels to sin, or just finished things in my life.  If I am daily in the habit of confessing (deadheading) my sin then it doesn't take too much time, and it saves the vital force and nutrients from being poured into deadness, lifeless sin or past things that are done,  and directing them to cooperating with the Spirit of God in producing His fruit in me--fruit that lasts! (Jn. 15)  I love gardening and the lessons I have learned about life, God, and the way He works, about my own soul, about caring for others, probably number in the hundreds without exaggeration.  As with deadheading flowers it is a little piece of a big picture and it is tempting to think "oh, what difference does this make, its a small thing."  But it really does make a difference.  Each time I find myself justifying some "small attitude, thought or action" in my life, I know that it is the same thing.  No, it might not be big in the grand scheme of things, but if it saps or drains energy from the new things that God is afoot doing or wanting to do or blossom in me, it needs to go.  Sometimes it is the miniscule that gets us sidetracked.  The Bible says that it is the "little foxes that can ruin a field and the harvest."  What are those past-bloom blossoms in your life today?  They bloomed brilliantly a few days or months ago, but their time is past, and left on the plant of your life they are directing and wasting energy from current things God wants to do in and through you? Is there any sinful way in you that is draining energy, silently emptying you of vitality?

Jesus is the Living Water

Botanical Gardens in Quito! Where have you seen such blue sky?

Jesus refers to Himself as Living Water.  My soul is so drawn to water and always has been. 
I never tire of looking out over vast expanses of water like the ocean or Lake Ontario, Michigan, even Almanor.  There is something anchoring and reorienting about the expanse, the power, the vastness that reminds me always of God's love and His power.  Furthermore, in smaller ponds and bodies of water there is the component of reflection in the stillness.  So, thought I would share some more of my pictures of reflections on beautiful bodies of water.  One thing I noticed while being in Chicago this week was that frozen bodies of water cannot and do not reflect anything!  There's something to ponder at a spiritual level.  What freezes your soul so that nothing is reflected but ice? 
What is close enough to your soul that you are reflecting it perfectly?  Are you still enough to reflect anything? 

Savor that blue sky reflected in the water and the contrast of the red Bird of Paradise!

A nearby park in Lakewood.  See the sunburst to the upper right?

The slight breeze rippling the water so trees are reflected a little wobbly!

Celebrating Sammie Payne! Biola Young Alumni of the Year!

Young Alumni of the Year:  Sammie Payne with Logan! 

Today I got to be here to attend a chapel at Biola where there were several awards being given to various Alumni.  Our daughter in law Sammie was the recipient of the Biola, Young Alumni of the Year!  We are so proud of her.  Here's how overcome and excited I was--I have no pictures!  I am hoping that Logan will send me one, and then I will post it.  Sammie is a Mentor Teacher for Teach For America and works with 30 first and second year teachers across the greater LA area in 18 different schools.  Her poise and her hard work just amaze me.  I admire and respect what she is doing.  It was fun to see Logan, her proud proud husband at her side today.
I am thanking God this evening for the eucharisteo of getting to be here for this moment.  These are the things that I treasure in my heart knowing that there have been many of them I missed in the kids college years as we were in Ecuador.  Ofcourse, Austin has had us here for his college years, and that also has been a eucharisteo for me.  We have stood at the sidelines and watched Biola Men's Soccer games in the first two years when Austin was on the team.  We have been able to go to some intramural games even.  He goes to the same church we do.  These are incredible privileges and gifts that I don't take for granted for a minute.
How about you?  Today is there something that you are taking for granted?  Someone?  Why not stop for a moment and savor and thank God for that gift! 

Pets I've had!

So when I was pregnant with twins our German Shepherd gave birth to 8 puppies!  Here I am, about 7 months pregnant, with an armful of puppies. 

 These little guys were just adorable! 

Tired mamma!  A glimpse of what I would feel in a few short weeks after as I cared for twins!

This little one was my favorite, and I would hide him each time people came to look at the puppies! There were so many of them at first this worked well, and Phil did not notice that we were a puppy short.   I was trying to convince Phil that I needed to keep him!  It did not work! :(

O'malley as a kitten.

O'malley was right there in the middle of my scrap booking!  This was her favorite spot in the pen tent!  She would sit and watch or sleep for hours as I finished up Logan and Amber's scrap books for their graduation gift from High School.

O'malley and Shamus!  Shamus was our Golden Retriever that Bob and Cynthia Merrell (Bob and CC) gave the kids before we left for Ecuador.  Our friend Wendy brought him down to us in April of 2000.  He was the most loving and loyal dog and sadly he died right before we left Ecuador in 2010.  He was 13!  In this equation O'malley always was the boss!  Even as a teensy kitten she was in charge!   

 Below:  Shamus!  And below that my pet monkey Chi'me (which means "monkey" in Cofan).  This was a pocket marmacet that we were given in Ecuador.  It was wild and I got to tame it!  It was a great experience, loads of fun, and I learned so many life lessons from this cool little guy!  It would curl up in my pony tail and cruise everywhere around the house with me.  Favorite foods, papaya, and moths!  The bigger the better when it came to moths! 

 This is little Chi'me.  He was so tiny that he could balance on the edge of a styrofoam cup and scoop water out without tipping it over.  I wish I had a better picture.  We didn't have him for a whole year even.  He got bit on his hand by a scorpion and he was just too tiny to fight the venom from that bite.  He died in my arms as I helplessly watched his life ebb away.  There was nothing we could do.  I was heart broken that day as I have been each day one of my pets has died since I was a little girl.

So, for all the pets I have ever had, we have ever had, this is dedicated to their loving memory!  They brought lots of love and laughter into our home, and yes not a few tears when they passed away.  I am so thankful for animals!  This may strike you as trivial and insignificant, and yes, maybe not eternal, but the lessons they have taught live on.  God used each of them significantly in my journey in learning more about Him, and His love, and His ways, and about myself.  So, there you go, Calvin's "double knowledge" even through animals, God's creations and gifts to us.  

Home Sweet Home!

This morning at 5:30 a.m. I headed to the airport in Chicago.
I arrived in LA about 9:30, and took the shuttle to our car.
I was turning onto our street when I was thunderstruck by this thought, "I'm home!"  It had that wonderful, familiar feeling of turning onto "your" street, the "home stretch", "home sweet home" feeling.  For some of you this may seem like nonsense, or a given; "what is she going on about?" you might be thinking.  However, this is incredibly significant for me.  For someone who has been traveling and moving since before she was born, and has lived in five different countries, is Irish, Canadian, Pakistani, American, and a little Ecuadorian, this is no small thing.  Isabel Allende has written a wonderful book entitled "My Invented Country" and she articulates and describes what I have lived with insight and nostalgia.  This book is available in Spanish or English as she is from Chile, and writes in both languages.
So, I am home! What does that mean?  Well, it's the sigh
in your soul that says, "whew, I'm here!"  "It's swinging the front door open and smelling familiar, us--that vague hard
to define smell that is distinct in each and every home.  Hard to recapture, or put your finger (or nose)

 on exactly what you are smelling.  It's just a delightful cocktail of familiar smells that takes on a life of its own in "your home." You could blindfold me and I could walk into many a home and tell by the smell in whose house I was!  What about you?  What do you feel when you get home?  What do you see?  Hear?  What is the first thing you do?

Before I have the door open, I hear dear, sweet Anastasia our kitty cat that we inherited with this house that has become a home!  Anastasia did so much in the early days to help that be so.  She is a loving, adorable rescue kitty. 
I scoop her up, there is no one else to welcome me as Phil is still traveling, and the kids are all grown up and gone, living in their own houses.  I am so so thankful for Ana's companionship.  I have always loved animals deeply, but loving cats is fairly new for me.  Until Thanksgiving of 2004 I had never really even had much to do with cats.  On a solitude retreat down at Isla Del Sol in Same, Ecuador, I had a kitty attach himself to me and become my shadow.  The kids and Phil joined me after a few days and they got such a kick out of their mom who didn't really care for cats with this devoted cat in tow, with my heart was smitten.  So that year the girls surprised me Christmas morning with my very own kitten!  G. M. O'Malley.  (General Motors, GM for short because she purred so loudly)

Christmas surprise! O'malley greatest kitten ever!

G.M. O'malley!

Anastasia!

 And I have been a cat lover since.  My O'malley had succumbed to a horrible bacterial infection and died in my arms in Ecuador the year before we left and I had not had a cat since.  In 2010 we came up to the States, I started Talbot School of Theology, working on my masters, and Phil was going back and forth between Ecuador and the States, recruiting for Living and Learning, the Semester Abroad program he has birthed and directed over the last number of years.  I just had resigned myself to not having a pet for some time.  However in this miracle house that God provided for us through friends of friends there was a cat that no one wanted, and they weren't sure what they were going to do.  Thank you Lord!  Above and beyond what I had asked or imagined!  So, for me now, coming home 

also means seeing Anastasia again.  Corny?  Well, if you think that you just don't own a cat!  :) or a pet probably!
So, I have unpacked, put everything away, done a few projects that I left half done, and all with Ana's supervision.  I have enjoyed one cup of tea as I did all this, and now I will go make another, and go sit in this wonderful gazebo, and Ana and I will enjoy some California sunshine!  Everything seems so green after a few days in Chicago.  I had forgotten the unique beauty that winter brings in colder parts, bleak? Well, maybe, but it is a beautiful bleakness all of its own.  I loved it.  And I love green too.  So, I am counting eucharisteos this afternoon, some of which I have overlooked, or not seen before, or am seeing with fresh eyes. 
Have you done that lately?  Why not make some tea and do that now?

Traveling with Phil

Sir is this CARRYON?!?!?!?!(platinum perks)

Phil keeping current with Sports! 

Wintery Chicago!

Most of the time over the last few years,
Phil has traveled alone, today I got to travel
with him to Chicago.  Today we have a meeting with our Mission bosses, and tomorrow I get to go to Trinity Christian College with him as he has meetings and recruits. 
The snow flurries yesterday were a lovely
change for us.  Heavy skies, but clear roads, salt everywhere to keep ice at bay, but nothing can keep that freezing, biting wind from getting to you.
I prefer to travel light!  Just carry on when possible.  That is challenging when you are lugging promo materials.  Paper is heavy, another good reason to go paperless! :)
It is fun to see this huge part of Phil's life and world, but I have no idea how he has the energy he does.  He makes the energizer bunny look limp and apathetic. 
I am struck by the reality of our being empty nesters now, except for our little inherited kitty cat, Anastasia, we are pretty free to up and move around.  Free as far life stage, I am processing and praying through what this looks like for me, and for us together at this stage of life. 
I wrote before we left in the "Reflections" post about how to be quiet on the move.  Yesterday,

International Teams Headquarters, Elgin, IL.

was a tremendous experience of that for me.  Christ is IN ME, and travels WITH ME, and so I rested in that, trusted in that yesterday.  We had some tight connections, and instead of fretting about that, there was peace, a sense that God was in control, and had things in hand. 
It was good to get to be at our mission.  To be reminded that they are there.  Sometimes on the field, you can feel disconnected from the "mother ship," whether that is the Mission Org. or your sending church, or supporters who are individuals from all over.  Staying connected is a challenge.  I desire to learn and grow in how to do a better job of balancing "wherever you are, be all there" which allows you to engage deeply wherever God has you; and then the other part of that, remembering where you came from, and staying connected and communicating with that world! 
It is not always clear how to manage multiple worlds as a finite being.  I am on a journey to learn more about technology and how to use that to help.  However, technology presents challenges of its own too.  People expect constant availability, immediate responses, and short pithy thoughts that convey depth in 2 sentences or less!  Sermon on the Mount wouldn't make the cut, neither would most of the rich heritage of sages and writers from our

Snow on the ground and serious windchill here! BRRRRR!

past.  Is faster, shorter, pithier always better?
So, today I am in Chicago, tomorrow I will be back in California.  Phil will go on to Grand Rapids tonight, then Omaha on Saturday.
Next Thursday we will meet back in Chicago and get our flight to S. Africa.  :)
Pray for ongoing quietness in my soul through these travels and amazing opportunities. 
Enjoy your week.  Count those eucharisteos--grace gifts from God--they are everywhere.  Go on that hunt!  Check out Ann Vos Kamps blog "A Holy Experience"!

Water Reflections!

Hosteria San Luis, Ecuador

What you see reflected in the water is what is around, and above it.

Zoomed out so you can get some context of this lovely setting.  Isn't it beautiful?

The breeze playing with the scene! Nuanced changes, only noted when watching closely over time.

I will let the pictures say most of it today.  In order to reflect something you have to be close enough in proximity to it, and have a still enough soul that its image can be seen in you.  I am wondering how to do that with a pretty good travel schedule over the next weeks.  Is there a stillness that comes even while on the move?  I guess I associate contemplative, reflective living with being stationary.  Hmm?  Is this something God wants to challenge?  Is it true?  Is there an element of truth to it?  That in order to reflect something you have to be still--but again, I have always thought of that stillness as being found in slowing, and moving and travel are highpaced stressors. So, what to do?  Is there a stillness and quietness that can be found in the hustle and bustle of planes and noisy spaces, just like you can have a quietness of heart in a monastery kitchen (Brother Lawrence)?  If so, how do I surrender to its being cultivated in my heart by the only one who can transform and change?  What barriers, even imaginary ones, have I been coming up against, or constructed?  What about you?  What are you reflecting? 

Not bored! In case you wondered!

There are so many things I love about Ecuador, but the above picture shows one of my favorites: the emerald green patchwork fields on the mountains.  Just thought I would share another beautiful spot/moment with you.
***********************************************************************************
The favorite question I am fielding these days is "Are you bored?"  "What do you do all day?"
So I thought I would take a few lines and say, "no, never!"  Boredom has not ever really been one of the things I have struggled with, thankfully.  Ever!

Hummingbird on a branch @El Refugio

What am I doing?  Well, let's see, I am working on projects that have been shelved for 2 1/2 years while I was in school, and I had to put them on the backburner.  I have been working a little at a time to organize notes, and class materials so that it is in an accessible form for future use, and current use.  I continue to read and study--currently working through How We Love, by Milan and Kay Yerkovich!  I have cooked (re-learning), helped with different things that others needed, and been able to respond to some crisis needs because of the margin I have, I have written lots of letters, and emails, trying to catch up with correspondence.  I have been trying to get back into rhythms of walking and exercise which really fell off this last semester with the extra units I carried to finish up my coursework early.  I have made phone calls, and baked cookies for Austin!  I have entertained.  I am working my way through the house a little at a time deep cleaning!  I don't think I have had a single day where I haven't known what to do, or have even had much time to just sit!  I have gotten to be part of a few meetings with some exciting possibilities for ways to serve in our local church and beyond.  Am praying and open to what God has, and will keep you updated.  I have another of those meetings next week in Chicago, exploring ideas for the future.  I am in conversations with Ecuador for how I can support and be a resource to our team with care or training when we are on the ground there over the next year.  And now I am trying to set up some weekly touch points with people both here and in Ecuador, via skype and face to face.  We are planning a wedding, and preparing to be grandparents, so, and emphatic NO, I am never bored, or have nothing to do.  I am doing what I need to be doing right now, setting things in order, and preparing for a year of lots of travel, and in and out.  :)  We are aware that this special season, this wonderful gift from God, that has allowed us to live within 20-30 minutes from three of our kids, and 3.25 hour drive from Natalie is drawing to a close.  Sammie and Logan are moving to Kansas City soon, and so I want to take every opportunity that we can to enjoy time with them before it involves more plane travel to visit!  :)  We are excited with them for this new opportunity, just going to miss them here.  I do miss school, and the learning, and classes, and friends there.  I miss the direction and shape that gave to my days and weeks.  But, no, I am not interested right now in going back to school. :)

Pansies--the perfect flower

 In Spanish, Pansies are called "pensamientos" which translated literally, means "thoughts"!
What a lovely name for a beautiful flower.  My all time favorite garden flower, and potting plant is the pansy.  I just never, ever get tired of looking at them, photographing them, framing them, pressing them, and using the pics as cards etc. etc.  I have one by our front door and a couple in hanging baskets outside our kitchen window that is right by the sink.  They are in 2 pots by the chaise lounge in our arbor/patio area. Just a whole lot of happiness in 6 little flowers.   

 I thought I would share their cheery faces with you today.  Those of you in colder climates may enjoy a tad of colour, as I have enjoyed the beauty of the fluffy snow covering everything that you have posted or sent over the last days.  There is such a breathtaking beauty to the waking up to a world covered in snow, but having lived in it, I do know you begin to miss plants and colors.  So, I am sharing my "wee" garden with you today. :)

 This is a new type of pansy that I had never seen before.  It is like a double blooming fuschia.

"The Lord your God is with you,
    he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
    he will quiet you with his love,
    he will rejoice over you with singing.”
Zeph. 3:17

From our yard to yours today.  This comes with much love.  May the simple beauty of these few plants serve to brighten your day.

Zeph. 3:17
The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Pavements and Souls: Scraping and Repaving

 Ever feel like this?  Dry, brittle, cracked, cracking, disintegrating due to weathering? This is our poor driveway.  We have tried several approaches to "quick fixes" with little overall success.  This is due to the problem being not a surface problem, and so really, in order to address the driveways issues, there needs to be a scraping and removal process, and getting down to a good foundation again, and then rebuilding!  Costly beyond what we can do.
This is the corner where it is really bad; the edges seem to be worse!  Hmmm...worn around the edges?!
That reminds me of me!  Weathered and wearing around the edges, time, and wear and tear all can take its toll.  That's why its vital to do maintenance regularly both with driveways and souls.

Over the last weeks, there has been a wonderful crew of Noble "workermens" (Austin's baby word for workers) working on digging out and cutting off the major roots from the lovely Magnolias on our street that have heaved and pushed and exploded through the sidewalks and the pavement over the years.  It has been quite an education, and a process to watch.  I have loved it.  Yes, there has been dust, and no parking days, no driving days, and mud and broken sprinklers, but none of that has dampened my enjoyment and amazement of the incredible equipment and crews that have wrought miracles in hours at different points in the process.  Today the final stage began, and after a few hours of stripping the pavement on Tuesday, the above picture shows the road ready and waiting for the army of dump truckloads of steaming asphalt being dumped into the leveler, and the steamrollers following behind, going back and forth over the whole road over and over.  The whole house was rattling and rolling, and things kept falling off the shelf above my head as I was writing letters. 

Here is a shot giving you context...

 Within hours, this is the same shot, all fresh, newly paved, smooth as can be steaming roadway!  Just like that!  Remade, repaired, renewed.  No more teeth rattling head bumping jarring over the mounds and contours of our street.  Some people knew how to find us because of the especially bad pavement on our street, boy are they going to be lost now.  We are like every other incredibly smooth street all over this land. 
Wow, thank you "workermens" from Noble.  It looks great, drives great, is just like new!  Thank you for your hours and hours of hard, back breaking labour.  Thank you to you drivers of all the trucks, and backhoes, and dump trucks, and cement trucks, and steam rollers and pavers and scrapers etc. etc. Thank you to all the form builders, and cement workers.

But I started making the parallel between driveways and bumpy worn streets and souls, my soul, and I finish with a "wish" that it was as easy as calling in a crew like Noble and having them repair and refresh the edges in me!  Wouldn't that be grand!  A few messy hours or days and voila!  Sure a little discomfort and dust, but then-- brand new!  Rolled out and smooth, no rough edges, and bumps!  Whew.  Maybe its the technology that we have today that allows what would have once taken many many months by hand, to be done in hours, that tempts me to have fantasy thoughts about it being easy to repair souls and fix rough edges within!  Shame!  God IS at work, He is scraping, and digging, and cutting roots out, and smoothing over rough spots with His loving hands, it just takes time.  There are no soul-pavers, or soulsteamrollers, no backhoe-for-the-soul,  that can instantly dig out ancient roots that are troublesome.  His blood washes over us cleansing us from sin, past, present and future, from Calvary down through the ages, until today, and if I will place myself in a posture of opening to His work, HE WILL WORK.  It just won't be fast.  The "temporary no parking" signs due to construction that have been part of our lives over the last weeks are also a misnomer when it comes to souls.  There is nothing temporary about God being at work, it is more like a permanent at work--under construction thing!

 All done!  Just like new!

And here are the steamrollers, massive, heavy, machinery that is pounding down the hot asphalt making it hardpacked and ready for more wear and tear, for cars, trucks, skateboards and bikes.  So as the house shook and rattled today, this was what I was thinking about, reflecting on and praying about.  Lord, grant me patience to be under your construction, and under your time table, not mine.  Keep me trusting that even when imperceptible to me, you are still at work, and you are repairing my soul, making your Kingdom come, your will be done.  Thank you, I bow my head and heart, surrender my soul to you tonight.  Selah.

A prayer for a way to live

 

One of my favorite plaques on the wall of the Finch house!