Fog: falling and lifting imperceptible at times

 Below is a series of pictures that best illustrates what the last little bit has been like in my soul.  I have felt like the first picture.  In a fog, confusion, and doubt and fear and uncertainty the stuff of my fog-- pea soup thick and seemingly impenetrable.  I have thanked God, and counted eucharisteos doggedly, and leaned into the fog, and into the Saviour.  I have heard Dr. Coe's voice saying "ahh, good, more fodder!"  And I confess I have wanted to do something inelegant with all the fodder that has turned to fog and seems like little else.  No sign of fruit here Lord!  However, just like happened the morning that these pictures were taken months ago up in Gig Harbour, slowly, ever so slowly, so that you aren't even really aware of when it began to lessen, and lift, that fog has been lifting in my soul.  It is easier to see fog lifting when you aren't staring at it.  When you glance up here and there, allowing chunks of time to go by, then you see the "progress" the lifting and the clearing.  But not when you are looking for it, mostly when you just have it in your periphery then you notice.  I think February and March and even January found me stubbornly staring into the fog,unblinkingly staring-- willing it, wanting it to lift.  And if desire or sheer determination could really accomplish anything, it would have happened.  God has different ways and means though, different outcomes, different methods and goals.  I can't say exactly when it started to happen, the clearing, the lifting, but it's Apr. 17, and today it was as if I looked up after a long time, and was surprised that it was clearer--I could see farther--or could I?  Maybe what was clearer was that God was there!  All along, in the densest part of the confusion He could see, even if I couldn't.  Maybe that's all that's clearer, because honestly not a lot of my circumstances have changed.  But something is different in me, something seems clearer, lighter.  And I can point to a prayer time Friday, and a walk on Monday morning, Supervision and words spoken there, and I certainly know that a conversation with a friend on the phone minutes ago have been hugely instrumental in that fog lifting.  Her voice rang truth right over and around me, surround sound truth!  Reverberating off the walls of my soul, and ringing and echoing even now.  There are probably many different little and big moments, some of them almost unnoticed that have brought me to the place of the last picture, where I feel like I am seeing again, clear across the bay of my soul to where God is pointing and directing and guiding in truth! Clear across to a place of surrender, again!  Freedom from fog of control. Yes, He has never not been there, but this fog sure obscured Him from my view, and it disoriented me, and it made my counting eucharisteos seem pointless and rote, wondering if I had lost my way somehow.  Trying to control things always does that.  The thing is, life is like that sometimes.  You will waken to foggy mornings and clear ones, you and I need to be able to navigate both with grace and confidence not in ourselves but in our God!  Maybe I am at picture 3 stage (see below) where I can see the fog receeding, but it will get much clearer than it is here in picture 3.  Picture 3 feels plenty clear in comparison to picture 1 though.  So whether I am in Pic. 3 in my soul or picture 5, I am thankful!  For today, for this amount of clearness.
How about you?  Are you in a fog?  Foggy season?  Or is it clear season?  Either way what is contributing to that season?  What are you learning in it?  Who are you sharing that with?

This is the view from my nook one morning.  I could hardly see to the end of the property.

The fog began to receede midmorning, so slowly that it was almost not noticeable at first.

I became aware of a brightening at some point, and when I finally raised my head from my writing, it was in time to see the fog lifting and leaving, almost like it was being scraped back by an invisible hand.  Wait, it was!  God was making a clear day come out from the fog.

The Puget sound, and Tacoma is "coming back" from being "not there" invisible in the fog.

Clear as a bell now!  At days end even the train running across the bay can be seen.  (The gleam to the far upper right). Same vantage point, but totally different view! Ps. 138:8